Let’s Talk, You Beautiful Chaos Goblin
Okay, real talk before you scroll to the fine print looking for a loophole: every single shirt we sell is printed just for you, the moment you order it. There’s no warehouse full of “Feral F*cking Menace” tees waiting around. Your shirt didn’t exist until you clicked “buy” — which is honestly kind of romantic, if you squint.
That’s why our policy works a little differently than the fast-fashion mega-stores you love to hate. Here’s the deal.
We Screwed Up? We Fix It. Immediately. No Groveling Required.
If your shirt shows up misprinted, damaged, defective, or just plain wrong — wrong design, wrong size from what you ordered, wrong color, mystery hole, print that looks like it was applied by a raccoon — we will make it right with a free replacement or a full refund. Your pick.
Here’s all you have to do:
- Fill out this form within 30 days of delivery.
- Include your order number and a clear photo of the problem. (Yes, we need the photo. No, a strongly worded description of your disappointment doesn’t count, even if it’s beautifully written.)
- Sit back and let us handle it. You don’t even have to ship the sad shirt back — keep it, donate it, turn it into a cleaning rag with attitude.
Replacements ship free. Refunds go back to your original payment method within 5–10 business days, depending on how fast your bank feels like moving.
Changed Your Mind? Ordered the Wrong Size? Oof. Let’s Talk.
Here’s where the print-on-demand thing matters, gorgeous: because your shirt was made specifically for you, we can’t accept returns or exchanges for buyer’s remorse, wrong-size orders, or “it looked different in my head.” There’s no shelf to put it back on. It’s yours. You two are bonded now.
So please, for the love of all that is unholy — check the size chart before you order. It’s on every product page. Our tees run true to a standard unisex retail fit, and the chart has actual measurements. Grab a shirt you already love, lay it flat, measure it, and compare. Sixty seconds of effort saves us both a very awkward email.
If we messed up the size (you ordered an XL, we sent a Small) — that’s on us, and it’s fully covered above. If you ordered a Small while feeling optimistic — that one’s between you and your choices.
Order Cancellations & Address Screwups
Caught a mistake right after ordering? Fill out this form immediately. If your order hasn’t gone to print yet, we can cancel or edit it, no problem. Once it’s in production, though, the printer has already committed to the bit and we can’t pull it back.
Same goes for shipping addresses: if you typed your ex’s address, your old apartment, or “my house lol” — tell us fast. If the package ships to the wrong address you provided, we can’t refund it, but we’re happy to reprint it at cost so you’re not paying full freight for a typo.
Lost or Stolen Packages
If tracking says your package is lost in the void (no movement for 2+ weeks) or marked delivered but genuinely nowhere to be found, contact us and we’ll investigate with the carrier. Confirmed-lost packages get a free replacement. Porch pirates, unfortunately, are outside our jurisdiction — but check with neighbors and your carrier first, because 90% of “stolen” packages are hiding behind a planter, living their best life.
Custom Orders
Custom and personalized items (team merch, custom text, anything made to your specs) are final sale unless they arrive defective or misprinted. We’re not going to be able to resell a hoodie with your rec-league hockey team’s logo on it. You know this. We know this.
The Bottom Line
If it’s our fault, we fix it fast, free, and without making you jump through hoops. If it’s a made-just-for-you situation, measure twice, order once. And if you’re ever not sure which category your problem falls into — just email us. We’re snarky, not heartless.
Questions? Complaints? Compliments? Photos of your dog in one of our shirts? Contact us here — we answer within 1-2 business days.